Tuesday, 1 January 2013

Beginning is the hardest thing

OK. So, I haven't posted on this blog in ages. The reason for that is not that I stopped caring about it. It's not that I stopped having opinions I wanted to put up on the internet. It's not that I couldn't express those opinions in the same manner that I have in my other posts. The reason is simply that I've consistently not opened up my blog and not clicked "New Post", and not started typing in the box.

The hardest part of doing pretty much anything, in my experience, is starting. To stick with my blog, once I start, I get going, I start  to feel like the words just flow from my mind down through my fingers and onto the screen. It's pretty easy to continue. The hard part is deciding to do it in the first place. And this goes for a lot of things I do. I want to draw an avatar for the forums? Once I start, I will generally continue until it's done. I want to tidy my bedroom so I don't have to tiptoe through everything I've lazily dumped on the floor? Again, once I've gotten going, I'll continue, at least to a certain point. I want to learn about something? Once I've found the impetus to start googling, reading books, putting thought into the subject, etc, I will learn about that subject. The hard part is always beginning.

Beginning is hard, and too often I take the easy route of not doing so. Falling back on leisure activities - of late, mostly video games. Sticking to just enjoying myself. The irony being, of course, that doing things also tends to be enjoyable. Because it carries with it the senses of progress and accomplishment, and the feeling that I have improved my own little world. And once I've done it, the video games are still there, and just as fun as before.

Crux of the matter is, I don't do much with my life lately. And I feel bad about that, and yet I've done nothing about it. A point on which I've had mixed feelings - is it better to know your own problems? Well, yes, surely, so you can solve them. But on the other hand, if that means "I know this is a bad idea, but I'm doing it anyway," that may be worse. The person who is ignorant of their faults and problems has a legitimate excuse for not doing anything about them. I don't. On the other hand, having gained impetus, I know what the problems are which I have to deal with.

So I want to counter the fact I feel bad about not doing things, and the only counter for that is to do things. And to begin by beginning to do things, which as I've said, is hard, but I have to get going. And the beginning of a new year seems a good enough time to begin beginning.
Let's go.

3 comments:

  1. I definitely know this feel. Hell, it even applies to my leisure activities as well: I almost never feel like watching a movie or reading a book or playing a game until I've already started it.
    You know what? I'm gonna take this as a prod and get that gorram last diary entry thingo post done.

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  2. No, wait... I'm gonna play Skyrim in bed, instead.

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  3. What things are you beginning today?

    ~hazy

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