Wednesday, 2 October 2013


No, not the excellent card game in which you do your best Dr. Frankenstein impression, my blog. My blog is alive. I bet you all thought that just because I hadn't posted anything in the last three or four months that I'd given up. Not so! In fact at several points in that period I started to write blog posts, it's just that I'm a bit rubbish at times and thus never finished them. I might revisit them at some point. Or not. Anyway.

Right now, I'm hoping to get back to  more regularly posting, along with more regularly doing various other more productive things. I went through an extensive phase of failing to do anything much, but I feel like I've found my work ethic again. Turns out it was behind the sofa this whole time! (I've wanted to make that joke for years, but I've never found my work ethic sufficiently to feel it was justified)
Hopefully this flurry of productivity (if such it can be called, because at the moment my progress has been more of the slow and steady variety) will last. I'll do my best to make sure it does, because I know I tend to feel better as a person when I'm actually doing things. A productive mindset leads to a good outlook and suchlike. I think I'm rambling, and I was sure I had some more actual substance to put into this post, but all that's coming to mind is basically a reprise of my post about how beginning is the hardest thing. I mean, the fact I was sure there was some substance to be put into it was the only reason I started writing it, 'cause I've always been fairly against the idea of making blog posts consisting of just "Haven't made a post in a while, will make more soon." I feel there should be something more to it.

So, my work ethic which I found down the back of the sofa (though not really). I really can't pinpoint when it went away, though I'm sure I used to have one, like, when I was in middle school. Of course some of it comes down to what feels compulsory and what doesn't. When I was in school, lessons felt compulsory, so they'd provoke me into forcing myself not to be lazy and to go to school. At uni, lectures never had the same feeling of being compulsory, so I had bad attendance. Or, well, actually I suppose it's down to making a commitment, that can also work. If I made a commitment to someone that I would do something, then I would do it, because I didn't want to let them down. Regardless of the difficulty I had getting out of bed for lectures, I would drag myself out excessively early to help out a friend. And I always go to rehearsals (sometimes I'm late, but that's an entirely separate point), because I've made a commitment about it. Other things, though... they're all kind of self-imposed. They're not compulsory and I haven't made a commitment to anyone other than myself, which doesn't carry the same weight with regards to changing my attitude and overcoming my lethargy. I could probably spin that into some self-aggrandising thing about how I'm really selfless and care more about other people's things that my own, but to be honest I think it's more that I don't want to face people's anger or disappointment or whatever. Whereas if it's just me then I don't have to explain myself, and whatever explanation and reasoning I come up with will be acceptable because it's mine and it's me giving it to myself.

So, yeah. Anyway. Hopefully I'll post more. Probably about video games for a few, because while I was failing to do anything productive I found them to be an excellent procrastinating tool. And also I'm hopefully going to keep working on other projects and stuff, including I plan on making videos of things regularly (hopefully, assuming I can keep thinking of things to talk about). That I've already started. In case anyone reads this who doesn't keep track of either my facebook or my posts on GitP, here is the video I made.

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